I have never been gaslit! - Said no designer ever !

Ever doubted whether your feelings about a work situation is yours alone? Chances are you have been gaslit.

While the term has been gaining popularity in the bygone year, the true meaning and why there is a sudden up rise, not many knows. And the creatives are not shying away from putting the term to use! Let's cut the chase and get to it. Big words and architectural jargon often pulls the focus from an outward expression of gaslighting, but the phenomenon very much exists.

What is Gaslighting?

The Oxford meaning of gaslighting is as follows, "​the process of making somebody believe untrue things in order to control them, especially that they have imagined or been wrong about what has really happened." While this seems a bit farfetched, there are other more subtle ways in which you could be gaslit.

Gaslighting in a more common use of phrase, is any attempt on you to disregard your judgement on a matter or your feelings. And in the professional space, this can look and feel very different for different people.

Workplace Gaslighting - Why is it so damn easy?

Much of the subtler signs of workplace gaslighting goes unnoticed since they can so easily be camouflaged within layers of professional training, inexperience and senior - subordinate equation.

When was the last time you came upon a meeting that you very well should have been a part of and they said, "Oh We didn't want to bother you!" ? Or..... wait a minute, when you waited for your turn to speak, they said, "Push the envelope, jump in!" and when you did, it was," But there is a hierarchy!" ? Classic examples.

We as designers maybe are a bit too vulnerable to the phenomenon, I would say. Thanks to the legendary architectural education we had pursued carrying the baton of creative martyrdom.

Early signs - Where did it all begin?

Disregarding emotions, feelings, hardwork, sounding all the more familiar?

Ah! The bliss of college life! And the blatant unfairness of it all! Much of our vulnerabilities and affinity to toxic work cultures arise from our college familiarities: the lack of appreciation and the regular injection of toxic criticism. There was a constant internal battle of 'am I doing enough' and 'am I good enough' when we sacrificed our biologically required hours of sleep and socially advised hours of rest for those endless sheets. This must have instilled a deep set conditioning of undervalue and self doubt that follows one into the professional realm.

You are the problem. Wait, am I?

Yes, it is okay to ask this question. At least to yourself. Because in the frenzy of beating the competition and striving to be the best, it is easy to lose ones authenticity and slip into a state of overcompensation. There is always space for healthy conversations and when you are denied the right to express your opinions in the name of professional etiquette, it is an issue.

If you are made to feel like your observations and opinions are invalid irrespective of your seniority or cadre, consider this a classic example.

Why creatives are more prone to gaslighting.

The ideal targets for gaslighting are people more tuned to other emotions and for the same reason creatives are perfect targets. Also the creative professional space has way too many loopholes that can easily accommodate gaslighting remarks as compared to other professions.

Every profession has its own share of pros and cons and discretion is key.